Thursday, February 19, 2009
I didn't want this pretty welcoming table display to go unseen so I took a picture of it for posterity.
Mackie is waiting, too...
Monday, February 16, 2009
That means that rather than hire good old American folks, they've taken to hiring illegals or barely culturated foreigners for some reason. So they won't be hiring the likes of us anytime soon. We're doomed.
At the drive-up window I asked the attendant what was the difference between a Big n Tasty burger and a Quarter Pounder. He told me, "Eet eez different meat." He made the word meat have about 3 syllables. me-ee-eat.
"Different like it's not 100% beef or perhaps it's made from the hooves or liver?"
"No, ees jus different mee-ee-eat."
"Well, which is bigger, the Big-n-Tasty or the Quarter Pounder?"
"I don' kno-o-ow, Ma'am"
"You don't know which burger is bigger?"
"Ees the mee-ee-eat. Eez different."
"Well, what do you mean by different?"
"Thee bu-uu-un ees thee same si-i-ize, Ma'am. Eet's jus the me-ee-eat that ees different."
I ordered the Quarter Pounder and went to the pay window. I asked the girl there what was the difference between the Quarter Pounder and the Big n' Tasty.
"Eets jus bigger mee-ee-eat" she said.
Bigger isn't always better, you know. Sometimes littler things are so much nicer. And miniature things can be the nicest of all. Here are some of mine:
This little cat likes to sleep curled up on the tea tray.
A creamer for a very small cup of tea.
The bluebird of happiness is really quite small.
Ladybugs, Katherine. Lots and lots of Ladybugs.
Nursery Rhymes should be wee, don't you agree?
And a poodle is supposed to be miniature!
My favorite, favorite: A miniature Barbie.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
She'd like to blame the bank, I'd like her to place the blame squarely on her own shoulders but it's never going to happen...but that's all in the past now!
Everything she's ever owned is being sold out from underneath her.
Including this set of Haviland:
Which is priced to sell at $2,500. I would like to buy it but doing a quick mathematical configuration I see that is about....um....$2,495.00 over my budget.
made me want to run home and hug my own china.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Last night in my sleep I wrote the funniest blog entry evah, but this morning all that remained was the EXCITED title, "CURRENT EVENTS!"
I guess I'll just fill in the blank with whatever's on hand, since I have no idea what fabulous current event I was dreaming about.
Here is a recent thrift store find, now on it's way to one of the winners of my caption contest:
So much for mood lighting.
And here is another CURRENT EVENT! The preparations for a little birthday tea I had for my friend Queen Q. What is missing here is all the fabulous food that she brought! Such as the sausage and onion quiche and the good olive oil in which to dip all that focaccia bread.
I don't know if you can see it, but I stuck a tea light in the center of the Tortuga Rum Cake to make it more festive and birthday-ish.
Her husband was totally skeptical of my claims that a tea light will burn for about 2 hours. "Are you sure?" he kept asking. I could tell that he was multiplying the length of the wick times the volume of wax divided by the circumference of the tin receptacle and coming up with about a ten minute burn.
I'm not interested. I'm not helping. I'm not even paying attention.
Seriously. I'm not helping.
I'm not helping. I'm supervising. Just a little.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Lately here and there I've been musing about all the changes that have occurred in the world during my lifetime. Some good, some bad, and some make me fly into a rant of incoherent rage.
And thus today I bring you Pet Peeve # 235. Elasticized Bed Sheets.
Long, Long ago, someone invented the fitted bottom sheet. And it was Good.
But those days are long gone. Some fool who has never made a bed in his life, probably doesn't own a bed or know what a sheet is for because his Mother always did it for him, who now spends his adult years living in travel hotels where they have maid service as he flies over to China or Taiwan to check on the progress of his other stupid inventions being manufactured over there by peasants and displaced rice farmers who work for pennies a week and still squat over a smouldering pile of dried yak patties to cook their meager daily meal and don't own a bed either because they still sleep on bamboo rafts that float on the Yangtze where sheets would be useless because they would draw damp right away and make for miserable sleeping, probably thought up this newest folly.
So instead of just popping the sheet on in no time, you have to attach one corner, stretch and pray that you've got the long ways going the long ways on the bed. But of course you haven't. So you have to pop that corner and spin the sheet but somehow, no matter how careful, you end up with the short side of the sheet again still trying to stretch it to fit the other end of the mattress.
And when you pull those things from the dryer? They are wadded into an elasticized ball and I defy ANYONE to figure out a way to fold them other than leaving them in the wadded ball and shoving them in the bottom of the linen closet somewhere.
What's next? Elasticized dish towels? Elasticized oven mitts?
Friday, February 06, 2009
Today was payday and like a parched and starving man who just crawled across the desert on his belly like a reptile searching for an oasis with dates and water, I headed out on a little mini shopping spree.
After taking 5 hours to do my taxes yesterday and coming up with either owing the IRS $250 or getting a refund for $42, I decided that there was just no point in stressing about it anymore. It was time to splurge a little.
As I was driving in the misty rain to the nearest Goodwill store, it suddenly dawned on me. I just needed new windshield wiper blades. What in the world made my brain not CLICK on that original idea many, many rainstorms ago? I don't know.
All I know is, in the bleary, blurred streets of Sacramento I found--almost by feel--a car parts store and purchased a set of brand new wiper blades.
Wow! It's like I've been HEALED!
There is nothing like a drive of blindness that is successfully changed into clarity to make the day turn into an upswing! From then on out there was no stopping me from finding the very things I had long been wanting and needing!
Such as this mustard colored Nine West purse. Need I mention here that I refuse to pay full retail price for anything? In fact, I actually hate shopping in places like malls and brand-name stores. I like to go to thrift stores and find bargains. This purse cost me 29 cents and it's brand new! Probably the woman who bought it realized it was the color of Dijon and thought better of keeping it. Probably the woman who priced it thought it was the color of baby poop and knew it wouldn't sell for more than a quarter.
And Then! This is my favorite, favorite! I've been wanting cool jars or canisters or pots or something to put my kitchen utensils in. It's been on my list for more than a year, but I've never found anything that would work. Either too tall or too shallow or too wide-mouthed. Or tippy. But check out these urns!
Okay, the one on the right looks like it was lifted from a grave site but it was a mere 3 bucks and it's that wonderful vanilla-white with a crazed glaze which is my favorite. The one on the left cost two dollars.
And THEN! I spotted this pale yellow floral twin bed comforter and I knew I was going to be blissfully happy forever and ever. It's the PERFECT color and the PERFECT floral pattern.
I'd like to mention here that I don't pose Mackie in any of these shots. He absolutely has to have his nose in anything I'm doing. As soon as he got wind of the new bedspread and heard the camera shutter he was ready for his Close Up, Mr. DeMille.
This bedspread cost $15.00 and was worth it since I've been pricing them at about $29.99-$115.00 anywhere I looked. AND! It doesn't smell like anybody died in it.
Just email me your addresses and I'll mail your goodies right out to you! And thank you for participating. I really enjoyed those perfect, adorable and funny captions!!!
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
(Understandable. After all, this isn't America, it's Tax-Free North Mexico.)
I was so bored I made up a new game in my head. Actually it's just a spin on an old favorite: Clue.
I used to love Clue! I loved the names and the game pieces and most especially the game board with the floor plan of a house with secret passages and everything.
I loved it that Mr. Boddy had a Library! And a Conservatory!
I was thinking that to folks nowadays, what with the dumbing down of America and all that, it would be more marketable if the characters, house and weapons were more in keeping with this new generation.
So I came up with some alternatives:
Trailer Trash Clue: Cousin Billy in the Coon Shed with the Meth Pipe.
Country Clue: Aunt Doraleen in the Grainery with the Pitchfork.
I love that word; Grainery.
Ghetto Clue: Brotha Darryl in the Alley with the Glock.
Illegal Alien Clue: Jose in the Tomato Fields with the Machete.
Oh, wait, here's one more:
Miss Pink in the Morning Room with the Lead Teapot.